Posted
Wednesday, February 9, 2005 @ 0836 PST
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Why don't they just call it R.A.P.E.?
The military love of
acronyms sometimes creates quasi-words that range from cute to
stupid to incomprehensible. Once again, the US military machine
has created a name that fails to accurately convey the true meaning
of what it represents.
The background for
this particular rant: Today, the Washington
Post has reported
that the Administration wants to get the funding they were turned
down for last round to continue research on their 'Bunker Buster'
tactical nuke - you know, the one that violates the non-proliferation
treaty. Oh, silly me - doing things according to treaties is like
submitting to one of those "international tests". Completely
inappropriate for a powerful nation pursuing its self-interests....or
for a rogue nation. How do you tell the difference? All you have
to do is figure out whether the nation in question is "good"
or "evil", or some such thing. Wait, I'm confused -
would that also be an international test? Or is something objective
like a body count sufficient?
Back to the rant.
The military has officially
named the bunker buster nuke as the "Robust Nuclear Earth
Penetrator," which shortens to RoNEP or some stupid thing
like that. I mean, come on! These guys need help. Fortunately,
I am here to help. I offer this much more appropriate name: the
Robust Atomic Penetrator of Earth, or RAPE. Now, that's poetic
AND accurate. What else could you possibly ask for? What more
appropriate name could be offered for this metal sheathed phallus,
designed to violate the depths of the earth and blow a glowing
load of death at the climax of its violent entry? It spreads disease
in the form of radiation. It is contemptuous of the sanctity of
human beings. Oh, yes, RAPE is the better acronym.
It goes without saying
that mega-wanker Donald Rumsfeld is one of the chief proponents
for this research. Big shock there.
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